A True Outing..

I am outing myself...I feel a large sense of relief in doing so...

All day, I have sat on this knot of feelings, not really wanting to say anything, not wanting to be that person who whines and complains about their life and situations...

Quite frankly, I am outing myself as a person who cannot express my feelings...yeah, I talk a lot. I can write poetry..I can make a song...or write a blog...

My story:

I am the one people go to when they need to talk...I am the one people go to for help and advice...

My problem:

Who do I go to, when I need to cry and cry and cry and scream and cry....!!!???
Me...I sit late at night and I cry in my pillow and then tell myself to suck it up...crying never solved a problem...just gives you a headache...yelling just makes folks think you're nuts...

Do I go to my little sister..who thinks I'm superwoman?
Do I go to my dad..who I always show my sunshine to and gets so worried that I'm not okay?
Do I go to my mom..who I have for some reason put into my head has to see me as a strong mother not a girl with kids (she doesn't...it's in my head)
Do I go to my good friends...whom I always show the "I can beat it all" face to?

I have only broken down in front of a select few a couple times...and every time I do, I feel like I have caused some type of anomaly to happen...like one of the seven wonders has collapsed (If you haven't read my posts before, you should know that I am awesome...so this could actually be true..heheheh)

I need someone I can get snot faced to...and feel comfortable in doing so...and not feel like I am imposing, whining, or being weak...

I dunno..I guess I just feel alone in my troubles...even when people are around me showing me the love they do...

I need to break down the wall...and let it go...just let it go...whoooosaaaaa......