The Many Stories of Finard I. Nathaniel
Hi All!!!
I have finally have decided to put my work out there so to speak...I had been working on a project since last May. I put it down and decided to try it again.
I have only written 3 chapters. I think by posting the story here (one chapter a month) it will give me an incentive to finish it! Maybe if I get some decent feedback, I will publish it someday :-) Let me know what you think :-)
The Many Stories of Finard I. Nathaniel
By: Laira Reid
Chapter 1
Picnic in the Southernmost Portion of the Park Formerly Known As the Vintage
Or
Lovely Lunch Today
"Mark my words," exclaimed Finard I. Nathaniel, "It will definitely be
a day to remember."
Anytime Finard I. Nathaniel exclaimed that any day would be any type
of day, it was usually wise to listen.
"I am telling you Marge, today is going to be some kind of spangtacular day!!!"
Marge cocked her head to the side slightly, her chin tipping left and
her crown tipping right. "What do you mean by that Fin?," she
inquired.
"Well think of it like this," started Finard I. Nathaniel, "I woke up
this morning knowing that this was going to be special. I thought to
myself, 'Self…today will be a spangtacular day'. So by that
rationale, today has no choice but to be a spangtacular day!"
Marge scratched her head. This was no easy feat since she tended to
always wear puffy wool hats with feathers in them. The feathers were
usually orange, red, or black. "So because you say it will be a
spangtacular day, it will therefore be one?"
"Exactly!!! You are on the right track!! Now to start my spatacular
day, I will begin with suggesting we do something we don't normally
do…something dare I say…Fantabulous???" Finard I. Nathaniel's eyes
began to glint and glitter in the way they did when he got a wild and
maybe even crazy type of an idea.
To understand a bit more about why this was something to be wary of, I
will have to go into a bit about Finard I. Nathaniel. This is just
one of the many stories of Finard I. Nathaniel that will help carify
why it was so easy for people to get caought in his windstorm.
Finard I. Nathaniel was not to be Finard I. Nathaniel when conceived.
His name developed the day he was born to Faith G. Finard and Grant H.
Finard on July 4th 1978. Finard I. Nathaniel even in his unborn
stage was a force to be reckoned with. He did not like country music.
(He gave his mother a smart kick in the ribcage the day he heard
"Ackey Breaky heart" playing on the readio in his comfortable spot
near her kidney). He also had a strong liking for smoked salmon cream
cheese. To this day his mother cannot look, smell, or even think
about smoked salmon…it might have to do with the daily intake of it
during her pregnancy.
But I digress.
Finard I. Nathaniel was not due for another 2 weeks, July 18th, but in keeping
with jhis many surprises, Finard I. Nathaniel decided to see what all
of the explosioins were about since he had never heard anything like
that in his 8 month 2 week life on the inside. So while Mrs. Finard
ate her Garlic bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese, Finard I.
Nathaniel began to squirm. Finard I. Nathaniel began to push. Finard
I. Nathaniel was ready to meet the world!
"It's time!" yelled Mrs. Finard.
Mr. Finard cocked his head to the side. His chin tipping left and his
crown tipping right. "Are you sure??!!"
"What do you mean 'Am I sure?' Of course I am sure!! Don't you think
I know when I am about to drop a baby out!"
Mr. Finard dared not answer.
After helping his wife the best way he could, Mrs. Finard yelling at
him all the while, he drove on to the hospital as fast as he safely
could with Mrs. Finard yelling at him all the while. He parked in the
EMERGENCY spot and helped his wife into a wheelchair, Mrs. Finard
screaming at him all the while.
Once they were in the hospital, Mr. Finard called over a nurse and in his most polite and respectful voice, he hollered:
"SOMEONE PLEASE GET MY WIFE A DOCTOR BEFORE I TAKE THIS BOY OUT OF HER MYSELF!!!...thank you."
From that point on, everything went as a usual birthing scene goes.
Mrs. Finard pushed and Mr. Finard coached…with Mrs. Finard yelling at
him all the while.
Now once the baby boy was born, there was a period of calm that always
comes after the storm, but in that comfort, in that sedated fatherly
pride of having a hand in creating such a fine young son, Mr. Finard
decided to name his son. In the hospital, they give you a form. On the form you fill out your child's name for a birth certificate.
there is a line that states:
CHILD''s FIRSTNAME:_____________
CHILD'S LASTNAME:_______________
Well in this lackadaisical frame of mind,
Mr. Finard wrote:
CHILD'S FIRSTNAME: FINARD
and
CHILD'S LASTNAME: NATHANIEL
and of course his middle name was Ingor.
This is how Nathaniel I. Finard unintentionally became Finard I.
Nathaniel. Also known as Fin or even F.I.N.
I have finally have decided to put my work out there so to speak...I had been working on a project since last May. I put it down and decided to try it again.
I have only written 3 chapters. I think by posting the story here (one chapter a month) it will give me an incentive to finish it! Maybe if I get some decent feedback, I will publish it someday :-) Let me know what you think :-)
The Many Stories of Finard I. Nathaniel
By: Laira Reid
Chapter 1
Picnic in the Southernmost Portion of the Park Formerly Known As the Vintage
Or
Lovely Lunch Today
"Mark my words," exclaimed Finard I. Nathaniel, "It will definitely be
a day to remember."
Anytime Finard I. Nathaniel exclaimed that any day would be any type
of day, it was usually wise to listen.
"I am telling you Marge, today is going to be some kind of spangtacular day!!!"
Marge cocked her head to the side slightly, her chin tipping left and
her crown tipping right. "What do you mean by that Fin?," she
inquired.
"Well think of it like this," started Finard I. Nathaniel, "I woke up
this morning knowing that this was going to be special. I thought to
myself, 'Self…today will be a spangtacular day'. So by that
rationale, today has no choice but to be a spangtacular day!"
Marge scratched her head. This was no easy feat since she tended to
always wear puffy wool hats with feathers in them. The feathers were
usually orange, red, or black. "So because you say it will be a
spangtacular day, it will therefore be one?"
"Exactly!!! You are on the right track!! Now to start my spatacular
day, I will begin with suggesting we do something we don't normally
do…something dare I say…Fantabulous???" Finard I. Nathaniel's eyes
began to glint and glitter in the way they did when he got a wild and
maybe even crazy type of an idea.
To understand a bit more about why this was something to be wary of, I
will have to go into a bit about Finard I. Nathaniel. This is just
one of the many stories of Finard I. Nathaniel that will help carify
why it was so easy for people to get caought in his windstorm.
Finard I. Nathaniel was not to be Finard I. Nathaniel when conceived.
His name developed the day he was born to Faith G. Finard and Grant H.
Finard on July 4th 1978. Finard I. Nathaniel even in his unborn
stage was a force to be reckoned with. He did not like country music.
(He gave his mother a smart kick in the ribcage the day he heard
"Ackey Breaky heart" playing on the readio in his comfortable spot
near her kidney). He also had a strong liking for smoked salmon cream
cheese. To this day his mother cannot look, smell, or even think
about smoked salmon…it might have to do with the daily intake of it
during her pregnancy.
But I digress.
Finard I. Nathaniel was not due for another 2 weeks, July 18th, but in keeping
with jhis many surprises, Finard I. Nathaniel decided to see what all
of the explosioins were about since he had never heard anything like
that in his 8 month 2 week life on the inside. So while Mrs. Finard
ate her Garlic bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese, Finard I.
Nathaniel began to squirm. Finard I. Nathaniel began to push. Finard
I. Nathaniel was ready to meet the world!
"It's time!" yelled Mrs. Finard.
Mr. Finard cocked his head to the side. His chin tipping left and his
crown tipping right. "Are you sure??!!"
"What do you mean 'Am I sure?' Of course I am sure!! Don't you think
I know when I am about to drop a baby out!"
Mr. Finard dared not answer.
After helping his wife the best way he could, Mrs. Finard yelling at
him all the while, he drove on to the hospital as fast as he safely
could with Mrs. Finard yelling at him all the while. He parked in the
EMERGENCY spot and helped his wife into a wheelchair, Mrs. Finard
screaming at him all the while.
Once they were in the hospital, Mr. Finard called over a nurse and in his most polite and respectful voice, he hollered:
"SOMEONE PLEASE GET MY WIFE A DOCTOR BEFORE I TAKE THIS BOY OUT OF HER MYSELF!!!...thank you."
From that point on, everything went as a usual birthing scene goes.
Mrs. Finard pushed and Mr. Finard coached…with Mrs. Finard yelling at
him all the while.
Now once the baby boy was born, there was a period of calm that always
comes after the storm, but in that comfort, in that sedated fatherly
pride of having a hand in creating such a fine young son, Mr. Finard
decided to name his son. In the hospital, they give you a form. On the form you fill out your child's name for a birth certificate.
there is a line that states:
CHILD''s FIRSTNAME:_____________
CHILD'S LASTNAME:_______________
Well in this lackadaisical frame of mind,
Mr. Finard wrote:
CHILD'S FIRSTNAME: FINARD
and
CHILD'S LASTNAME: NATHANIEL
and of course his middle name was Ingor.
This is how Nathaniel I. Finard unintentionally became Finard I.
Nathaniel. Also known as Fin or even F.I.N.
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