Revealing The Truth You Don't Want To See

The truth came out...but where the fuck was I?
Working as hard as I could to make sure we had what we needed?
Juggling time and space, where it almost seemed as though I was in two places at once?

But not there...
Not when she needed me the most...

I pushed these feelings back for so long. Two long years..
They tried to say I wasn't a responsible person...that I failed in my duties...that I was...nothing.

They tried to prey on my inner doubts...my insecurities...my self inflicted flaws.

I pushed back those feelings for so long. I analyzed the situation. "What could you have really done?" They say this to me...my friends. I know what they say is true, or are they just trying to make me feel better?

Today I dwell on feelings of the past to give me strength in the future. I will do what needs to be done, carrying the thoughts I have had at bay for two years...Two years...such a drop in the bucket that is my life, yet a span of time that seems so far away and not at the same time.

It is time today to prepare myself for the circus he has made my family the stars of...the horror movie we must play our roles in.

I am not amused.

I don't want to be famous.

Leave that to the drama kings and queens who thrive on the lime light the sycophants and wannabes give them.

I just want to be left alone. Rewind the clock and make sure this never happens...ever...to anyone..

But then again...how was I to know?